i can't tell. sigh. maybe i just need a break. there has been a lot of drama in our relationship. and we can't seem to get it together cuz we work opposite shifts and both have kids.
he texted me twice today but i was tied up once and the other time acted like i was. haven't heard from him since so i suppose the move is mine. i just can't bring myself to do it yet.
i do miss him.
but i really am hesitating...and trying to figure out why.
is the economy affecting you? i have had a couple of clients cut back on services. i might have to scrounge more to meet expenses for Nov. Holidays coming up will not help. Guess it's time to pick up another ghostwriting job.
Monday, October 6, 2008
we text too much
texting has gotten bf and i in trouble before and i should have known it was another night for it.
one time, i was mad and a typed a bad word and then started the next sentence with "you". trouble was, i was in a hurry and forgot to put in a period after that first word. so he read it as "f you" and promptly called me something i won't repeat.
he was too mad to actually PICK UP the phone so i could explain so it took hours to straighten it all out. and i totally started crying about it.
o brother.
last night, he was texting how frustrating a long-distance relationship is and that he has talked to his bro about it and his friends. i got mad because he talked to them about it but not me. he also said we both have thought about breaking up because of it. well, i haven't but he says i have. arrghh. so i figure he was telling me to get lost and wondered if he had someone else.
he got mad and said he was just talking.
to be fair, he did try to call earlier but i had my kid in the tub and couldn't pick up.
i have NO idea how this will pick up today. i don't even feel like talking to him. and i don't think he feels like talking to me either.
stay tuned...
one time, i was mad and a typed a bad word and then started the next sentence with "you". trouble was, i was in a hurry and forgot to put in a period after that first word. so he read it as "f you" and promptly called me something i won't repeat.
he was too mad to actually PICK UP the phone so i could explain so it took hours to straighten it all out. and i totally started crying about it.
o brother.
last night, he was texting how frustrating a long-distance relationship is and that he has talked to his bro about it and his friends. i got mad because he talked to them about it but not me. he also said we both have thought about breaking up because of it. well, i haven't but he says i have. arrghh. so i figure he was telling me to get lost and wondered if he had someone else.
he got mad and said he was just talking.
to be fair, he did try to call earlier but i had my kid in the tub and couldn't pick up.
i have NO idea how this will pick up today. i don't even feel like talking to him. and i don't think he feels like talking to me either.
stay tuned...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
oops
giggle.
forgot to introduce myself. sorry. my name is jilly. i am 5 foot, 5 inches tall and have light brown hair with blond highlights. i won't give you other stats-sorry. suffice to say that i am attractive and even though i have kids, i am 120 pounds or a little over or under that.
i also am recently divorced, which is sad.
and x is really sick, which is more sad.
there have been a lot of hard times in the past few years.
am hoping things are kind of looking up now.
my bf and i connected after many years of being apart. we've always had the chemistry-enough so that one of us was always finding the other every couple of years. so this is the first time we've ever actually both been single at the same time since when we dated as teens.
we will see where it leads.
he wants me to move closer to him. not sure we are ready for that yet. lots involved and some issues i'm a little concerned about (shhh don't tell him) or maybe it's just because the divorce is so fresh in my mind. did i mention he's been divorced a lot? not once like me but more than that. so that is a concern, even though he is a good guy.
plus there are my kids to consider and they have been through alot.
but he seems to need me closer to BE closer whereas i don't want to move closer until there is reason to do so. make sense?
guess we are both a little terrified.
forgot to introduce myself. sorry. my name is jilly. i am 5 foot, 5 inches tall and have light brown hair with blond highlights. i won't give you other stats-sorry. suffice to say that i am attractive and even though i have kids, i am 120 pounds or a little over or under that.
i also am recently divorced, which is sad.
and x is really sick, which is more sad.
there have been a lot of hard times in the past few years.
am hoping things are kind of looking up now.
my bf and i connected after many years of being apart. we've always had the chemistry-enough so that one of us was always finding the other every couple of years. so this is the first time we've ever actually both been single at the same time since when we dated as teens.
we will see where it leads.
he wants me to move closer to him. not sure we are ready for that yet. lots involved and some issues i'm a little concerned about (shhh don't tell him) or maybe it's just because the divorce is so fresh in my mind. did i mention he's been divorced a lot? not once like me but more than that. so that is a concern, even though he is a good guy.
plus there are my kids to consider and they have been through alot.
but he seems to need me closer to BE closer whereas i don't want to move closer until there is reason to do so. make sense?
guess we are both a little terrified.
what doin?
i can't believe i am blogging. but i guess there must be too much of my heart to keep it inside anymore. so i will let it all out here, i guess. as long as you don't rat on me.
my bf and i only get stolen moments together and it sucks but i only see him once a month or so and only for a few hours. lately when my phone is still in my jeans pocket piled on the floor, he has been tucking his under his pillow and actually looking at it when it rings.
well, not in the middle of you-know-what but before and after and all that jazz.
what does this mean? am i not enough? is he too distracted by life? sigh.
ok, there has been times in the past when mine is tucked under the pillow too. you know, when i think my kids might call or something like that. but lately all i have wanted is HIM and nothing between us and time for us alone so i guess that's why it bugs me when he is checking his phone when we only have a little bit of time.
i mean, enuff already. ok?
my bf and i only get stolen moments together and it sucks but i only see him once a month or so and only for a few hours. lately when my phone is still in my jeans pocket piled on the floor, he has been tucking his under his pillow and actually looking at it when it rings.
well, not in the middle of you-know-what but before and after and all that jazz.
what does this mean? am i not enough? is he too distracted by life? sigh.
ok, there has been times in the past when mine is tucked under the pillow too. you know, when i think my kids might call or something like that. but lately all i have wanted is HIM and nothing between us and time for us alone so i guess that's why it bugs me when he is checking his phone when we only have a little bit of time.
i mean, enuff already. ok?
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